May 11

DRACONIA KEEP where Magic and Dreams Become Reality

May 11, 2008

Mother's Day

Notice I didn't say "happy". Sometimes it isn't. And that's okay. My mom has been gone for 17 years, and Mother's Day is really the only day of the year that I just can't think about it. The other days I may think of her, and, yes, I still miss her, but Mother's Day is the only day I just *can't*.

Even the cards. Doug buys the Mother's Day cards for my grandmother and his mom. He gets me a card from him and also one from our kids, but they are funny and loving--not mushy.

I don't do mushy on Mother's Day.

But now that I am a mother, I love receiving the funny cards, and today I loved getting breakfast in bed--pancakes, sausage patties, toast with jelly and coffee--that Mikyla made me. So sweet and so kind. And what a beautiful surprise.

Then I feel guilty because I get mad because we were late for church or getting upset because they lost the gator keys--again! Fussing because their rooms aren't clean or they don't want to help feed the horses today. (Of course, it's cold and raining--I can't blame them! <G>) I feel sometimes all I do is nag at them.

Do I spend too much time on the computer or with the horses and not enough time loving and being with them? Do I worry too much about all the things they don't have because we spend so much on the farm? Or do we spend too much on them (did they really need another book from Border's last night?) and not enough time with them?

I am always saying I don't have time, and Buggy says, "Mommy, I'll give you my time... ." As sweet as that is, it breaks my heart. Where does the time go?

But when I see that our kids are happy, healthy, doing very well in school, and they are kind and polite to others (if not always to each other! <G>), then maybe, just maybe, I'm doing something right in this Mothering business after all. It isn't easy, but I'm doing the best I can.

So to you, my friends who still have your moms, cherish them. To you whose mom is not here anymore, think of her, and for those of us who are moms to humans and/or equines, canines, felines, hug your loved ones. Today is our turn. The dishes can wait. The kids, horses and animals will love the extra hugs.

Tomorrow will come soon enough. Enjoy today.

Make it a "Happy" Mother's Day after all.

Hugs to all,

Tori